Confusion

Talked with LS yesterday.

She said she will not talk, she just said no to everything.

what am i to do?

It's not good to force anyone to make a decision in favour for us. It would be better if, if i forget her. No more disturbance for her and for me too.

But how am i going to do that. Man it's gona be tough. but u see there will be a way let me find out. May be hoping some day, some day she'll come back to be my friend again.

GOOD BYE LS.
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
LS

I Want to get along with her again.

I don't know what i done then. I just want to be with you. thats all. I just want u. I want u back with me. always by my side. WHen will u come back LS. please please come back. I love you LS i love you most of all. I want u back. I want u back as my friend. Please come back to me.

I can't take it any more. I'm sorry for what had happened. I'm sorry. Is there anything else for me to do if you want to come back to me. Please.

Hey somebody say her to come back.

That day i asked why she was doing like that. She said its no fault of mine but its her fault. She thinks she just seperated me from my other friends and they say so. who cares i'm the one who should decide who i'm to talk to, to whom with i am to move along, and all these things. But she is ordering me to move along with the person i'm hating the most. what can i do. How am i going to solve this problem.

last friday, i had talked with my sis she has promised to help me out, but still no clues how she is going to handle it.

Please LS come back to me. I'll do anything if you are gona come back to me as the same old LS.
Please come back, please.

The Exams

The Month long festival starts 1st of tis month. It will be hard to do the things which i would love too. But its too long for a fight to go on. I just can't take it. I want to talk, i want her to talk with me. I fear if it would be a permanent divide. But god don't let it happen. But anyway i've got some xams to concentrate. Bye

It's Birthday Bash

It's OCTOBER 30th my b'day. then but u see still my LS is not talking to me. She didn't wish me even you know. what can we do. I wore a two color orange and rose pyjama and kurta. just nothing more University practicals was just 2 days to go god. only. knows. what am going to do.

The Revival. The Restoration, The Resurrection

Yes its 20th of OCT, my system started to open up, booted and i could hear the familiar Winodows startup sound. It was music to my ears. Again my SYS was up and running. WOW now i can listen to my favourite music. I'm back with bang. I can be the king of information once again. But i had a short time and a lot of information to gather, which i had not done for the past one month, with my xams at the backyard how am i gonna do it. Well u see we can always do it. its just something called the art of management and i am talking abt the part of it called TIME MANAGEMENT. i'll do it, u see u have some will u will have some way.

Tap, blip, fuuuuuussssssssssh

Yes that was the second thing that happened in september. My sys SMPS blew up stopping me from using it.
shit. was i worried. was i worried?

yes i was like a mad man trying to restore on my own. still i wasn't able to.

The successful electrician and system service engineer outside has always problems when it happens with his own sys.

i was unable to restore it. Ok lets wait till time comes.

The tour

Nothing much eventfull happened, except for a 2 things.

The one most important thing was the tour which we in our department went. We went for Ootacamund. It was a nice place. But i just went there half hearted. I really did not want to go to the tour. But still i went plainly for 2 reasons. One was that my friends just pleaded me to come, or else they too will not go. 2nd my favorite cute little mam was one of the Faculties accompaning us in the tour.

It was a nice tour. The tour was for 3 days, We enjoyed did what ever we had wanted, since it will be the last tour together.

well we had some bitter memories too. for me the whole tour was a bitter memory. I don't wanna remember anything abt the tour, xcept a few things.and thats it.

The Fight

I still remeber the day this was to start. August 27th that was the day I asked Loud Speaker(LS) why she stopped calling me. May be there was no reason.

First first let me say who this LS is. She is one of my best friend. Actually i hae only 2 BEST friends. lets see abt the other later. u see i loved her a lot. she was my best friend.

I was the one who started this fight. i know it. i was the one who said "i'll not talk with you untill you are gonna call me". i didn't speak to her, but she too accepted with some other reasons for which she had stopped talking to me which i was latter to know. At that time my guess was something like this. It was something related to the fight all these people had over me at a training session when i was away to mumbai. Everyone in my class was fighting over me for control over me.

Now what am i to do. I just did only one thing that i thought was gona solve this problem. I still don't regret what i had done then and i'll not, since i do only which i think is correct. I stopped moving freely with everyone and moved closely with only some people and that too secretly.

After so long

its been a long time since my last post nearly 3 months. Sorry. U see my sys was down with so many problems and then my xams came, then i got so busy.

ok ok. i'll tell everything
but slowly.

ok what happened in august end . wait, yes the begining of a fight.
september saw our tour
october saw my birthday and the fight
november saw my xams.
now december is seeing my struggle to get along with my best of friends The aftermath of the fight that started in August.

well we'll see one by one, don't worry i'll let u know.

The Most Important Saftey and Risk Factor in the World

This was the topic of discussion in our class a week ago or so. The guys over there in my came up with factors such as Terrorism and human policies on natural resources and the Fire accident in a school in small place called Kumbakonam. Well of after these I didn't get time for my teams views. So I'm presenting it here.

Well I think the highest risk factor that is present in this world in here are Politics, Education, Poverty. This may seem something stupid. But according to me these are the fundamental risks which are the mother for all other risks that occur or people speak about in volumes.

The first risk factor put up in my class was that of Terrorism. Ok let me put my responses this way. i am not going to oppose that it is not a very high risk factor.

Well take the root of Terrorism. Can it be well defined? No it can't be. It can take various reasons. But all will fall into one of the above mentioned catogories. Some where, some way it will fall into these categories.

Now i think i will have to state what EDUCATION, POLITICS and POVERTY really means from my point of view.

EDUCATION, by this i don't mean something like literates. I am talking about moral education, the thought that we have to think about others too before doing some thing, we should know it. We should know whether it will be 4 the good of the people or for the bad of the people. The thinking, the moral values are the ones which i say when i say education and not those damn fucking degrees. Because most terrorists are those who stood first in their discipline of study. So what do you say?

POLITICS, this is something is so popular among all countries wether it is republic, democratic or autocratic. POLITICS is a good thing but the politicians in there are the ones who give it a very bad feeling and a bad name. Many good things can be done over with politics but the politicians only concentrate on thier well being and forgetting about the people who gave them their powers.

POVERTY, this is the only thing which i have taken in the same sense as all of us will commonbly take. This is a very important risk factor.

Though these are simple factors, all these have Global effects and everything in here is really a sensitive matter which have to be handled very carefully and sensibly. If anythihng goes wrong anywhere then everything goes wrong everywhere.

Its late over here, any comments are welcome. Will continue my theory in the next blog.

Campus Interviews.

How about getting a job in very highly acclaimed and ranked company and that too without even having the necessary essential skills? That's what Campus Interviews are. They just ask u silly questions, U answer them what they want it to be, fine u are selected. That is what is a Campus Interview. I hate it. And the most shit part of all is that only the people without any arrears should attend it. Come on man this kind of a system sucks. All the bright guys with the knowledge are sitting ducks with arrears but the muggers are the ones without arrears. now the company says i want muggers and not the knowledgeable ones. So how is that? And still the funniest part is that after conducting the interview the company people say the students quality has gone down. What is the point in conducting the interviews to the people who do not know the answer to basic questions practically applied, and hiring them into the system. Fuck The System

Born to be a loser.

So it's been a long time since i had posted anything here. Well for the past 2 weeks i had been doing practically nothing. Just roaming around and attending classes for the sake of attendance, and nothing more than that. So how is that how am i to end always with the losers and take them into my team and go to fight. I always lose. I have been a looser all my life till now. so what can be new, nothing but still something there is nagging me.

How come all my plans crash. How come the well laid plans fail. How come only I'm left without partners again and again. The only time I had won was one at a private competition and then at a College competition and at both the times I was alone and leading the charge against teh opponents. But when i dream of having a partner or forming a team on my own all my plans fail just when the show is about begin. i fail at the last minute.

i love you!! will you marry me?

some were talking today who they will love and marry what they expect and stuff...
then i was thinking wat do i expect. do i expect something... whom will i love..
but then who will i love?.... except my friends....
but the topic here is who u will love, the one who u think will be there till the end, the one u will marry, blah blah

what i want is someone who can be herself, accept me for who i am.
she can do what ever she wants. i will not question. but, just keep me informed.
and most important of all,
she has to come forward and say to me "I Love U" and ask me "Will U Marry Me?"

i don't even care about the first two sentences. But the last sentence is the most important. If any girl does that, then she is my love.... for eternity. and i will marry her.

The Pre War Conditions

Since the last post i have been in two minds like wether to follow what people say or to follow what i have in mind. What the hell am i to do? Any suggestions anybody. Well as of now I have decided to go along whatever i have in my mind.

Now that i have found what is there in most of the people's mind in my college. I am planning my first move - Trying to safe guard myself.

The first step i am going to indulge in is to fortify myself against all kinds of attacks. Yet still i'm thinking of my second step wether to go in along with my usual mode of attack or wether to use something different. Whatever it is i have to be careful, for i don't have any support over there. Only a few caring hearts, those poor souls can't even try to save me or even understand that i'm in danger.

Will India strike gold at this olympics

Well it is olympics again. Again the debates have started wether india will atleast open a medals account earlier or will we have to wait till the end for knowing wether we have got any medals or just another bag of experience.

So Things are confirmed

Yeh everything is confirmed. So I don't have anybody left with me except for a trusted few. Ok let me kick back in with this team that i have. the so called worthless are just left behind with me. I'll make them the superpowers that anyone will be longing to be with. I Will Win. No we will win, we are gonna win everybody. We Shall win this together.

The Day I Lost everything

I had considered my friends as the most important possession in this world. But now i could see all my friends in the physical world are seeming to move away from me. Though there are my virtual friends who are just spread all around the world. Still the one's who are physically close to you are always the one's who influence you.

But Today I have lost all hope that i could get back everyone of them i had. No hope is let, but still i'm gonna try to have them back again with me.

But what it is there with these people. Why should I run behind them always to have them me. Now let me show them who is who in this world in my circle. I can stand alone. Time and again this is not a unfamiliar situation for me. I Have faced this before too. But on a small level. Time and again I stand all alone with my back against the wall with everyone else joining forces against me. I'll be back. I will get their friendship back and also show them even if they are united then too it is impossible to defeat me, For this Anbarasan A.K.A Aba who is not to be taken easily. I will show them I am the Phoenix which comes back from the ashes of its death to conquer the sun again, and again and again...............

After a Lomg Time

           After a long time i should say i behaved exactly the same way that was the reason why i was loved by everyone in my environment.  The foolish, funny always laughing, cracking jokes and wits on others.  The old Aba whom everyone had missed for nearly one and a half years.

          Everyone including J was surprised.  WaW that's what she said.  Nothing else.  Just it started when i was travelling to college in train.  My friend suggested a delayed start than that started it all.  It started there.  I was a non-stop nonsense from then on.  I just don't know what triggered it,  but it was nice.  Still i am dancing to my favourite dance numbers.  I think i am gonna sleep like anything today after a long time.

My College

          Shit.  That's it exactlly what i can say about my college.  There is nothing in this institution in which i am studying.  But still I love this college.  Of all the colleges i have seen in and around my place i love my college like anything.   It may sound contradictory.  but still it takes a person to be in here in this college to know the feeling.

         There is no placement here, No laboratory equipments, No good teaching faculties,  good for nothing library,  But still there is something which keeps me with it.  That thing makes me love my college and go to fight to any other college student to defend my college name, eventhough i know i am fighting from the losing side.

The Surprise

         Today it just happened.  For the first time my dad has given permission just easily to attend a competition outside my education campus.   Great.  Just only one thing I don't have is a passport.  I just want to participate in the World Cyber Games to be held in San Fransisco.  and here I am sitting without a passport.  Tomorow afternoon is the Day 1 of the preliminary event for the team selection for India in my city.  i don't have a passport.  What am I going to do.

Engineering

              The day i finished High school, i dreamed of becoming a Engineer.  Then cam some diappoinments but atlast i did make into a Engineering college.  but then the disaster had started.  We were changed from one University to another.  From Madras University to Anna University.  We were struggling like hell to cope up with this university, but hell was loose on us.  Now Engineering had lost it's value and i can no more be proud that i'm an Engineer.

The Beginning

                So Here I am writing my first blog.  Actually eventhough i have been following the blogging activity from the beginning it never occured to me that i too should blog.  But now i just want to share and experiment with this blog activity.

               This is Anbarasan, as u all know this is going to be my blog.  Well It may be shocking to u all, but it is going to be happening.  I just want to script my life and also do something else too. 

               Well by the time I will be finishing i would have scripted how i am going to end.  I want to direct my end.

               It may soud something like a biography.

                It all started on a Sunday morning, early morning, nearly around 1:00 Am.  it was raining like Hell outside teh hospital.  The doctor's had said it was going to be a sysarian Well at 1:10  a baby was born in the isabella hospital in chennai.  it was none other than me