Beliefs vs wishes.

Since last sunday, i had wanted to write, badly, but, at the same time, i also, didn't want to sit down to write those things which i wanted to write. thought that i might imagine things, write what might happen in future, might hurt someone. But i couldn't stop me from writing. so here i am.

For those who are around me, they know, what is happening. My mom and pop are looking for a girl to get me married. (i Can't explain the traditions here, at this point of time, coz i myself don't know em).

Come on, what, i am just 25 now. i don't even have finished working for the major things in my wishlist, i don't own a thing, except for what?,,... a laptop, a desktop, and a mobile phone, and... and... what else do i know, other than, my video games, computers and cartoons.

What about my wish?,,... well the ones whom i believe (ma friends, if you didn't know) think i don't stand a chance to woo anyone. I don't even know the basics. and what did they call me now, after all these years of struggle, after being looked down at every point, they are saying, i am too geeky to make any one to even turn and take a look at me. and they are asking me to try for someone in my office instead of the whole world. Bull S***, That is office. where you work, create beautiful things, which are of use to someone, not some place for flirting and romance.

I know, i don't look good. i don't have a great body, i'm obese slightly. I talk with a kind a humor which many find difficult to understand. I live online, than the real world. And i don't know anything outside of computers. And that is what i am. And i want to be me.

i know i am confuzzed.....