Depressed!!!!!

Well, I don't know, may be that is true. But... I don't know. I haven't been able to think for the whole week, The job which should have taken only say may be about 4 hours or so is still not done yet. I am not able to do it.... I don't know why, i know what i have to do. I exactly know what i have to type and where i have to. and what i have to configure. Yet i am not able to do it. and a week has gone.

Why is this happening. I felt a little suicidal today. Am i getting that bad. I don't know why i did it, i set my facebook status as i want to disappear. I can't understand what is happening. Am i getting crazy or what?

Tried to talk to my child, She was a lill busy, couldn't talk to her. I don't know if it is ok to disturb her, with all these. ish is in Hospital, today he was to undergo angio test at malar hospital today. I promised i would come, But i couldn't get myself to go. I am not able to get myself up to go anywhere. I have been struggling to go to office this week. But that doesn't mean i do not like the job or something. I love this job. But, i couldn't make me go to office on thursday.

Something is not right with me, and i just can't figure out what it is.....
Somebody help me....

Well one more thing, i have created a new blog. This time i went to try wordpress. I am going to keep the new blog for techie posts or something like notes to me and stuff like that. Those posts i will not post here. so there you go.....

farewell my ROKR

My phone is atlast about to die. It is down, and doesn't work on battery or with a sim inserted. It was awful. What that city could do to you. When i took it to the service center, after a 2 day analysis they said that the whole internal board has to be replaced and it would cost aroun 6.5 k and the same bought new costs 7k. But it was too much, i had retire the device. It has been of great service to me, and i can never forget that extension of my arm..... To buy another piece of the same would not be proper. Until something worthy of your successor arrives, i will have to make do with some other device. Am looking around, but everything is out of my budget. Ever the DEXT is around 35K which i am not in a position to buy. (it is not a question of affordability, it is about the question of value for money).

The Best day.....

it was different this year. May be one of the best, i am wrong, the most best day i had ever had. Though it did brought back some painful memories, which i am still trying to forget, it was still wonderful. I went to office for the class, then to my Child's house for lunch, where i also watched the movie Gangster, and then went back to office, did some work and played a good TT. Wonderful. It was not as wonderful or fantastic as some of the many days i had, but it was really a wonderful day, when i was taken back in time, to delhi and back to school days. It was wonderful. I will never forget this day.

Me, Rain and JLPT 2008

It couldn't have started any thing like this.

Even before i reached the railway station near my house, myself, my mobile, and my laptop were nearly drenched with water, coz of natural (rain), and unnatural (faulty design of the subway). Then after reaching Central the rain stopped completely but the Train in which i was supposed to go had not arrived due to some other problem, and it was delayed by around 3 and a half hours.

phew, after a long wait, i left chennai for madurai. after a overall delay of another half an half from the delayed schedule, i reached madurai at around 2330.

I started my preparation for the JLPT exams the very next day. in between i went to the book fair which was happening over there in madurai. It was wonderfull. I wish i could buy nearly every other book which i saw. but, was a little short on cash, and these guys do not accept plastic money. so i had to be content with 3 - 4 books which i bought.

I got some nice small story books and puzzle books for my uncle's daughters. well it was nice, after nearly 2 years i had gone to a book fair. Surrounded by books i was lost in time, till the organizers decided to pull me out of the trans at around 2100 in the evening on that day.

Then i left for Bangalore where i had to write the exam on 7th. Reached there on 6th stayed in Jeyan's place. he is not the same as last year, he was a little tensed, and shaking too much. I just can't believe what can happen to a person. We both wrote the exam in our respective levels, and not expecting any great. Hope everything turns fine for him.

Back to chennai, back to office, it was fun. I missed office so much. and now i am back.

Rules!!!

I broke one of my sacred rules yesterday!.

i sent a link of a post to some people.

i never wanted to advertise. But... I had to, i think, that was the only way out....

Surprise Call, Maggi & El Dorado

The day started with a surprise today. Akka foned me. she called me up to day morning. She was not feeling well for the past few days, and i was tryin to reach her since a few days after i came here. But couldn't get thru to her. Yeah! she is ok now. i don't know, but after talking to her, i will have to believe, what she says.

And later my parents left me reluctanly to a function. well and good. and i was having fun watching movies all day. Later i cooked Maggi, and saw Eldorado again. I have seen it innumerable times already, but still every time you see, the movie is still watchable. It is magic. Elton John's voice, miguel and tulio's adventures, Altivo's expressions, you can even watch it n number of times and still sit to watch one more time.

It was great today. I was so relieved after i talked to akka, and knew abt her health. Nothing can beat those 12 minutes today..........

Another year passes : One more little step.

yet another un event full year passes. Nothing great happened, I got few new pen friends though, of which few stayed, and few left. I failed the JLPT test which i took last december. It did not even rain yesterday!!

and here i am taking another big step towards death,

So will atleast something happen this year? Will atleast something interesting, adventurous happen this year?

Dinner at Residency!

It was really a long time, since i had met up with anyone who went to collage with me. Though i have been in constant touch with some of them, this was the first time i met up with some one. I met Viji and Kavitha (Coach) yesterday, we had planned our dinner at Residency!, we did catch up with so many things which had been left to talk. all the incidents of the past 2 years, and everything. We decided to meet up more frequently here after, and to get some one else for the next time when we would be meeting.

I would remember this evening for a long time.

A Hard Decision

i don't know weather i am doing it correct by writing this post. But, as the saying goes, when in doubt....

It is not everyday that some one who is up the ladder at the near top of the organization would call you for a chat.

It is not everyday that, that one person at the top of the organization, would offer a dream chance to join his elite team.

And it is not everyday that you would reject the offer and live the rest of the life as though nothing had happened.

There were not so many reasons why i said no to his offer... only a few,

• His thinking of only his solution is correct.
• Being asked to stay in Delhi.
• The rest of office's attitude.

If he can work around the first 2 points, i can work something out of the 3 point. But i can't do anything. and the verdict had been spilled out of my mouth.

As i have heard, it was difficult to say No. But somehow, i did......

No time to breath.........

hmmm, seems like i to am joing the bandwagon of people who always say "am busy can i call you back later", but i ain't even that polite, i just say "i'll call back later" i don't even wait for the response. i press the answer button , say the sentence and cut it. Seems like am becoming important. Ha, just joking. i know the sky will come crashing down if that ever happens.

it has been a pretty busy week, except for the weekend which was again not so cool, still far better than the week, that was..... certain things are just funny. there is guy out there, who they say is so much experienced, and all that jazzy stuff about him, but when he comes on the line of fire, he just turns out to be a crap. He just sayz in his defence, i just don't want to do anything with the live server. come on, gimme a break. then why the hell, have i set up the UAT server, and also recreated the live server on to his machine. just to say this answer.....

anything, just anything, to change the font. king how to change the font, king how to hide this button, king how to change the name of the title bar. Let the heaven show mercy on you....

while this was one type of a character which i had been dealing with for the past 2 months, the other one which i had problems with is a computer system. An automation, where you rules to find controls and try to pull data out of them and then put data back to them (a.k.a screen scrapping). Now imagine this... all the rules that you wrote matches, yet the control is still not identifiable. the rules match only for this control. and the funniest part was it was working in the morning but starts to fail the moment we had found a way to tackle the only thing which was pending, and causing problems. Now everything is breaking up and the plan has to reworked.

But with all this and may more similar to this (which fortunately i have to handle daily) still i go around to office. why? god only knows....

Madhav......

Ah!,

Sridevi gave birth to a baby. He's cute. tiny..... Hope everything is fine with him and his mother. Hope i get to see them soon...